So I'm flatting now and it's pretty great. Last night was my fourth there. I'm nearly completely moved in. My room's a bit of a shambles, things boxed up and all over the floor, but I'm quite excited about sorting it all! I've always loved rearranging my room and making everything fit well and organising it. I remember as a kid taking all my books and things off my shelves and completely covering the floor with their mess, so that I could put them all back on, nicely rearranged! It's just difficult to find the time for it all at the moment but it's all good.
I made my first dinner there last night after youth group. Tortillas. Started cooking them at 10.30! I'm glad I did though, as the alternative was Mi Goreng, which I had already had a pack of for lunch. Much more satisfying having cooked a proper first meal instead. I even had one left over for lunch so I impressed all the girls in the cafe with my creation! Haha. I'm thinking pesto chicken on orange flavored cous cous for my next one! Hooow am I still single right?!
Probably because I say things like that ;)
Besides cooking, this flatting business is growing me up pretty quick I think. I took on the power account today which was big and scary. Going shopping yesterday morning and spending $130 on groceries was also a bit of a wake up! Finally I'm entering the 'real world' I've heard so much about... It's exciting! A little daunting, but new and thrilling too.
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My week without Facebook finished today. It wasn't all that difficult with all this moving going on, but there were still times when I felt a bit empty without it, kind of like I was fasting or something. It's a disappointing thing to check Gmail after a day and find nothing waiting there for me, or seeing my blog stats go down so dramatically, because my Facebook viewers can't click the link! It was definitely good though, I'm glad I tested it. I think I will use Facebook much less needily now. I hope so at least...
Anyway, got to keep busy so I will keep posting when I can! No internet at the flat yet so good excuse to come home, and enjoy mum's muffins while I'm at it!
She sang tonight at Roasted Addiqtion and it was sooo great being able to point her out to admiring fans (Lydia Cole was one! Yaow!) and go, 'her? Yeah... She's my sister, what of us?' It was her biggest gig yet, not size wise but importance wise. Jocee Tuck was the 'headline' but I don't think it was really like that. And Stephanie Dickinson played. Such a magic evening. Roasted Addiqtion is a cool little cafe in Kingsland (cool points straight away basically, being Kingsland. I don't really know anything about the place but everything I've heard of from that place appeals well to my pretentious douche bag side, and quirky little cafes like this one certainly help to sell it). We packed it out! I'm pretty sure most of the crowd was just friends of the singers, rather than fans coming to hear local music. Not that we're not fans! It was so sweet though. So many weird connections. The music world and Christian world are very close knit I find. All our usual churchy crew, then the Northcote Baptist crew, then the Auckland Uni music crew, then the other church people crew, then the architecture/Westie crew (haha, ok that was random, but so great! On ya Wade, Swaney, Matt and co.!). Em sang so well. I get real proud when I see her sing. She's so in her element up there, the way she bobs every now and then as she enjoys the music she's making with Sam, and moves the mic on the longer notes. I don't know if that's on purpose or just because the music moves her, but it looks cool. Her voice has gotten so mint over this past year. She studied jazz singing last year at Massey, before moving to Auckland this year to study pop music. Such a good way to start I think; she has improved vocally so much from last year's stuff, so this year as she learns to write good songs, she can dominate! Yay! It was so neat to see people so eagerly watching her and enjoying her stuff. Lydia Cole filmed one of her songs! Haha it was funny, Em saw her too, and got real nervous because she's a big fan (me too! We are way too big fans for someone who's probably not thaaaat famous, given our friends are friends with her... Like Amy and Katie were getting weirded out that we were so fame struck by her, because they know her!), and after she said she was trying to make eye contact with me to say 'LYDIA COLE'S FILMING ME! AAAGH!' It was pretty inspiring. I want to do stuff like Em that makes people go 'Wow, this is good.' Maybe it'll be a building I design. Hopefully not just coffees, but I'll settle for that now.
I can't wait to see Sophie in the production in a couple of weeks. She's been working so hard at it! She's got a big future ahead of her too, world. Look out.
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I got a sweet surprise when Tim called this afternoon to fill me in on the big news - the owner of a house in Murrays Bay we applied to rent two weeks ago has accepted us! I'm going flatting! This weekend! It's myself and 3 friends, hopefully 4 before long. We will be living together! And WE'LL be the men of the house! What a change this will be. I was sitting in my wonderful room when the phone rang, and as Tim spoke I surveyed my current pad, immediately struck that in no time at all this place will become foreign to me. How scary, that I, dependent on my parents for 21 years now, will now be fending for myself in the big scary world, my own man. I know the fending won't be that intense, living still so close to home, but it's such a big step, and I'm so stoked I'm finally getting to take it. It's cool, this was a big thing about this year for me - going flatting. I'm excited for how it's going to change me, how I'm going to grow up and be my own man now. I don't mean get all mature and boring, just responsible and independent. I need more of those skills. So pumped! Aaaagh can't believe it, so sudden and exciting and life changing :) Man Cave here we come!
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The urge for Facebook was minimal today. Who needs it though when so much exciting stuff is happening? We'll see when I'm bored and things are quiet.
I was so on the brink of deactivating my Facebook just then. Man. Still seriously thinking about it. I use it way too much. Rely on it even. I always say I just want to use it for events and contacting distant friends, but it's just so awfully easy to click 'Home' and get sucked in. I spend far too much time just scrolling down,looking for entertainment. When I get bored of that, it's onto people profiles, and that's just terrible! Seriously, it's stalker-ish (esque?) what it allows us to do... And are my concerns about not having a Facebook really that valid? Yes, it means I can follow what my distant friends are doing much less, but I can still contact them! Email still works. So does the post. So that's easy enough to work around... What about the events? So many things are organised purely on Facebook these days. My 21st wouldn't have happened without it, and how many would I have missed without it? But perhaps that's ok. I always talk about my F.O.M.O. tendencies, but I rarely do anything to curb them. I don't really need to go to any of these hang outs or parties or events. Life will go on with or without me! But will mine without them? Maybe that would be a good thing for me to learn. And surely, if people really wanted me at their event, they could simply text me?
I don't want this to be my reality:
Alright, that settles it. I'm trialling this. One week without Facebook. This is going to be hard I'm sure. I never make stupidly big challenges like this (I apologise if this sounds pathetic to those of you who find living without Facebook simple!), but I've become far too reliant on this thing, and I don't want a ridiculously fat file in my life for 'Time Wasted On Facebook' (re: The Room - previous blog entry). I'm sure it's already ridiculously big enough as it is! And please do contact me if something is happening that without Facebook I won't know of - I don't want to miss out on everything... Yikes! Ok, here goes. Wish me luck!
I made this a double sermon week by running our youth group Fuel tonight. It was so great, the responses from the youths were epic, especially my small group. I talked about God's demands, where they came from and what they mean for us post-Jesus coming and dominating our sin. They all seemed to especially get stuff out of this story. I read it to them with their eyes shut, just imagining the scene. It's really challenging, and such a great picture of what Jesus did for us!
THE ROOM
By Joshua Harris
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed."
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger," "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
"No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.
Hey folks, this is the sermon I gave on Sunday at the 5 o'clock service. It was my first, and I quite enjoyed myself.
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"Tonight we’re continuing our series, ‘The Kingdom of Heaven is…’ where we are going through all the parables Jesus told in the book of Matthew; stories or images that he used to give us a better idea of what the Kingdom of Heaven looks like. The verse I have to speak on is Matthew 13:45, known as the Parable of the Pearl, or the Pearl of Great Price. It’s paired up with the parable we looked at last week, where a man finds a treasure hidden in a field, and then goes and sells all he has in his great joy, so that he can buy the field and own the treasure. Basically Jesus was saying the kingdom of heaven is a treasure to be discovered, and its value and glory fills you with a joy that makes you want to give up everything in your desire to get it. Frederick Bruner, who wrote a commentary on the book of Matthew, said when discussing these two parables,
'Few places in the New Testament as perfectly spell out the two main foci of the gospel, being grace and demand, and place them in their proper sequence, as do these two gem parables: first the jewels and then the selling; but without the selling there is no possession of the jewels.'
Last week we heard from five different people, as they shared about how that parable has been relevant to them, especially focussing on the demand side of the parables – the things they’ve sold or given up in their pursuit of the kingdom of heaven, and to better follow God’s direction. We found that to follow Christ might mean giving something up that we hold dear. Andrew talked about how he had to give up his parents’ approval in order to obey God in where he felt he was being led, because pleasing God was more important for him than pleasing his parents. That’s a big sacrifice! Jess gave up her lifeguard commitments in order to lead a youth group, as she felt God led her to do. For her, that was a big sacrifice!
For those of us who went to the 6.30 service, Ben talked about the same verse, and he challenged us to be ready to make those sacrifices, and to follow Christ wherever, whenever, whoever, however and in whatever he calls us to. It’s a heavy challenge, and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly: to follow Christ and take your place in the kingdom of heaven means to desire him more than anything else, and following him can mean obeying him in difficult things. To truly follow Christ means he must take a place more important than any sporting endeavour, any drive for success, any relationship or any image you may want to protect for yourself. These verses don’t say, ‘He went away and sold a bit of stuff to buy the treasure’, they say ‘all of it’. He calls us to seek and want the kingdom of heaven with all we have, because really it’s worth more than anything we have to offer. There are countless stories where people have given things up in order to better follow Christ. Many people in the Bible and out of it have lost their lives for Him, so highly did they value the kingdom of heaven! We see the apostle Paul as a great example of this. In his letter to the Philippians, 1:21-24, he writes:
‘For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.’
Clearly Christ is of the greatest importance and value to him, and because he is living in Christ, he is confident he will gain life with Christ in his death. He continues, writing:
‘If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labour for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.’
I wonder if we live, like Paul with this same attitude of great confidence and joy in what Christ offers us, or if we have a pretty weak grasp of all this? Do we value Christ as Paul did, so that our single concern is that he would be lifted high above all else, or is Christ’s grace just something else to think about and be thankful for, among the other important things in our life? Perhaps we don’t know about God’s grace yet?
Getting into the verse I have to speak on now, we read Matthew 13:45.
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”
So as I was saying before, these two parables spell out the main foci of the gospel: grace and demand. Last week we talked about the demand, the sacrifices. This week I want to look at the reason for those sacrifices, why this pearl, the kingdom of heaven, is valuable beyond anything else and why it is worth all we have and all we are. As I’ve thought about this verse and researched it a bit, I think the Israelites who Jesus was speaking to would have understood what he was saying better than we do. In their day, the value of pearls was significant, far beyond most of their means. I’ll just read some of the stuff I found, because I think it helps to put the value of pearls in perspective:
‘Before the beginning of the 20th century, the only means of obtaining pearls was by manually gathering very large numbers of pearl oysters from the ocean floor. The shellfish were then brought to the surface, opened, and the tissues searched. More than a ton were searched in order to find at least 3-4 quality pearls. In order to find enough pearl oysters, free-divers were often forced to descend to depths of over 100 feet on a single breath, exposing them to the dangers of hostile creatures, waves, and drowning, often as a result of shallow water blackouton resurfacing. Because of the difficulty of diving and the unpredictable nature of natural pearl growth in pearl oysters, pearls of the time were extremely rare and of varying quality. Divers had only very basic forms of technology to aid their survival at such depths. For example, in some areas, they greased their bodies to conserve heat, put greased cotton in their ears, wore a tortoise-shell clip to close their nostrils, gripped a large object like a rock to descend without the wasteful effort of swimming down and had a wide mouthed basket or net to hold the oysters.’
So hopefully you can see that to acquire a pearl in Jesus’ day would be significant. Most people couldn’t hope to afford a pearl, so the comparison to gaining the kingdom of heaven would have been obvious. If the kingdom of heaven is like a pearl of great value, then surely it’s something to pursue and make sacrifices for.
Take a look at this bracelet of pearls:
Quite nice aren’t they? Any guesses at the cost? This is a Swarovski bridal bracelet, and the Buy Now price for these is just $52.50 on TradeMe.
How about these ones?
This lady is Maisie Plant, and in 1915 she traded her 1.2 million dollar 5-storey mansion in 5thAvenue, New York for the pearls around her neck. Unfortunately for Maisie, she didn’t anticipate the depression, the war, and the introduction of cultured pearls, so in 1957, her necklace was sold at auction for just $170,000. Since the introduction of farmed pearls, they have become much more attainable. While it used to be that only 3 or 4 pearls would be found in at least a ton of hand-picked oysters, now through modern technology billions of pearls are farmed every year, and they look virtually the same, yet they only cost tens of dollars. By the 50s it was the era in which every woman could own her own pearl necklace.
I wonder if this is reflective of modern day society and our perception of heaven? In the same way the value of pearls has been cheapened, has the value placed on the kingdom of Heaven been reduced? True, natural pearls are rare and valuable, but in this modern day and age we’re able to create replicas easily, so their value has been lost, and they no longer have any great importance. I tend to think the same may be said for heaven for many people.
A while ago I read a book by Mark Sayers called ‘The Trouble with Paris’. Mark Sayers is a pastor of a church in Melbourne, and he’s well known for his speculations on Christianity in modern society, particularly in the young adult age group. In this book he looks at a concept called ‘hyper-reality’, which he argues has engulfed and corrupted modern western society. A twentieth century French philosopher Jean Baudrillard coined the term hyper-reality when he took a trip across America, visiting places like Las Vegas and Disneyland. He said that our culture had become hyperreal, meaning that we could now have things that were even better than the real thing. These days, hyperreality isn’t just limited to Las Vegas and Disneyland, but it has penetrated pretty much every part of our daily lives. The world has become a pretty misled place. Hyper-reality has come as a result of society being driven by consumerism, mass media and widespread individualism. Because of it, peoples’ expectations of what this world has to offer us have been overextended. People think this world can offer us more than it actually can. What are some examples the world tells us are possible, but probably aren’t realistic?We can keep our youthfulness. We can be rich. We can look good if we don’t already. We can avoid suffering. We can be popular. We can be happy when we buy things and achieve things and look good. We can be famous. We can be truly happy and satisfied by these things… All these things the world tells us to seek represent the cheap, fake pearls that we now use to replace the genuine one, which is the kingdom of heaven., but that is the only one that can truly satisfy us. I think this video clip kind of demonstrates just how bad hyper-reality has got. I do apologise for exposing you to this by the way…
Rebecca Black, the singer, is one of a quickly growing number of young celebs that have been produced by the company Ark Music Factory. At the request of parents seeking fame and wealth for their privileged children, this company takes the youngsters, many, as we can see having very little talent in the music industry, and they write them a basic pop song, recording their voice with auto-tune, and then create a Disney-like video with the purpose of making them famous.
Now I know that this example is a bit of an extreme, but I think it demonstrates the basic message that currently dominates society, that says we have to make something important of ourselves, and that you exist to satisfy yourself. We’ve been brought up in a world that values success, and ignores reality. Realities like Rebecca Black can’t sing, nor can her friends in the video act… Realities that we just aren’t talented at some things, while other people are. Realities like we will inevitably fail at things. People will stuff us up, and we will stuff others up. And perhaps greatest of all, there is the reality that we all will grow old and die. I wonder what false realities you have been chasing? Have you been led to believe that there is a way you can be fully satisfied on earth? Instead of seeking that valuable pearl, living for God and selling ourselves on his behalf, building up our treasures in the kingdom of heaven, so many of us are seeking our immediate satisfaction in these worldly things, the false pearls. For us Christians though, this is such an ironic thing, because we know these things can never truly satisfy. We believe that our true satisfaction and joy will be found in heaven when God dwells among us. It’s difficult though to live sold out for God, because living in this false reality can be pleasant and easy. So why would we want to give away control, and sell all we have for this one genuine pearl, when it means we will have to suffer for a while, just like those pearl divers did and the merchant in the parable does? Why would we accept that this world isn’t all we want it to be, when it’s so much easier to pretend that it’s good, and to not worry about what the future holds? The reason is because reality is nagging at us. I know this clip gets overplayed, but I think it illustrates what I’m talking about pretty perfectly. This man had been searching for true reality, for that fine pearl, unconvinced that the world in which he lived was all there was. When confronted with the choice to either remain in his naïve comfort or to discover true reality, it was difficult. It's the Red pill/Blue pill scene of the Matrix. Unfortunately I'm unable to embed this video so you'll have to click the link. Watch from about 1:22 to 3:44.
Over the past few weeks through the news, I’m sure we will all have been reminded of how little control we actually have in our lives. It seems that reality has been breaking through, the reality that we currently live in a broken world have no real guarantee for happiness here. There is nothing in our lives, in our world that can give us a surety of happiness. Possessions and loved ones can so easily be lost. The little empires we build up for ourselves can be damaged and destroyed, if not by some disaster, probably at different stages by the general struggles of life we all must face, and certainly when we die. It’s pretty disturbing how easily it can all be stripped away. And that is reality.
I’ve found this to be reality in my life over the last 6 or so months, not through any real hardships, but simply in quiet times, when I just stop and think about all I have. Through my life I’ve always been a pretty happy guy. The thing is, nothing has really gone too badly for me. School and uni were easy enough. I’ve always had plenty of good friends, and my family has been great. I have a nice room filled with lots of nice stuff. Not much of all that I have has been taken away from me, and perhaps my whole life could go that way. But as I sat thinking one day, I was considering what of it would really last me. As I’ve already mentioned, probably none of it. It sounds really depressing and such, but the hard truth is, one day my family and friends will all die, and so will I! And so that leaves me with nothing. And that’s reality. I appreciate these people and things; they are good to me. But I can’t put too much trust in them, because no matter how great they may seem, because the hard truth is they are imperfect, and won’t always be there for me. Fortunately, reality doesn’t end there. As I was thinking about these things, and feeling a bit disturbed by the emptiness, I thought about my relationship with God, and the promises he’s made. I’ve always believed that God has saved me and that I’ll get to go to heaven and be with him when this happy life ends, but up to this time it had just been like a cosmic insurance. I treated it like another fake pearl, just a way to ensure my current satisfaction would continue forever. I didn’t give the kingdom of heaven the true value it deserves. Yes, it did lead me to change parts of myself, kind of like token gestures, and I did care about God, but I probably didn’t place much dependency on him. He was my helper, and I’d help him when I felt like it. But as I was thinking about all I have, and realized it doesn’t all equate to much, that’s when it dawned on me just how important is this relationship Christ offers me and this place he has prepared for me in the kingdom of heaven. In the absence of all the things I own and all the people I care about, the kingdom remains. Jesus never leaves me, and that’s why this pearl is so precious! It’s not just a pretty thing we wear as we do our usual things, just a token cheap pearl to make us look better. It is the reason we do all things. It is the lasting jewel that has me prepared to give up anything at anytime in any place. When push comes to shove, the fake pearls in life won’t stand up to the test. They’ll be proved false, mere imitations of the real thing.
I think too often Christians fall into the trap of trying to align their faith with hyper-reality, as I was doing. They make God and the kingdom of heaven just another way to give them a good feeling. Instead of being the bread of life and the one true pearl that we sell ourselves for, we box him up and only worry about him when things go badly. He becomes our cosmic insurance, so that we can live a normal happy life here, making success and other worldly things our core values, and then we think we still have that surety of this life continuing when we die. Too often we become complacent and allow ourselves to settle for just enjoying life. We do all we can to avoid suffering and injustices, wanting heaven now instead of accepting the reality that it is coming, but for now we must wait patiently for our full satisfaction. We need to pay more attention to what Paul said, when he talked about producing fruitful labor while life in the body continues.
So this all begs the question: is the value you place on the kingdom of heaven like a fine pearl, retrieved from the bottom of the ocean? Or, along with the rest of the world, have you started to seek those things seemingly closer at hand, which claim to offer satisfaction, like success, fame, relationships and wealth? While those things may give some satisfaction, they can’t hope to be lasting. They offer an imitation of the true satisfaction that awaits us. They are just like the billions of cheap, farmed pearls that anyone can get. The pearl Christ offers will only be received by some, not all.
I’m going to pray now, and then we’ll do communion. As we go into it, I’d like it if we could take it silently. Take it seriously. Jesus says he’s the bread of life. Think hard if he’s the bread of your life, your be all and end all, or if he is simply a cosmic insurance. Reflect on the value you give him and the kingdom of heaven. Are you wearing him like a cheap pearl you’ve already bought, or are you living your life desperate to glorify him for the grace he has shown you, confident that one you will stand before him and he will offer you the finest pearl? I’d encourage you not take this communion out of habit, but as a meaningful act of committal to him. Ask him to reveal himself to you, to give you a new revelation of the value of the pearl he is offering you. And please! Don’t feel at all pressured to take it."
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We then went into communion and took it silently after I prayed. It was a great experience leading the 5pm church for a night, and one that I'd definitely like to have again. I appreciate when people are able to give me pointers about how to improve, and they really ask me about the stuff I'm saying. Not gonna lie, I also really appreciated the compliments people gave me about the message. Made me feel pretty glad of all God's been doing for me, and of this place he has brought me to where I can share to other people and hopefully encourage them by a message. Windsor is such a great, supportive environment, and I'm so stoked to be given opportunities like this.
Hello helloooo, how are we all? Enjoying the sun I hope! It's been quite nice hasn't it. "Yessss!" chortled all the happy kiwi readers.
Glad we're happy then! So how have we been? What have we been up to? Working? Studying? Yes, yes of course. Well just working personally, taking a gap year from the studies you see. Oh I see! Yes, but I am studying a bit for this sermon I'm giving on Sunday... Oh... Like at church? Yeah! So you're a Christian are you? Oh that's cool ah aaaaahhh seen any movies lately? Saw Black Swan on Saturday actually. Any good? Well at first I was quite miffed to be frank. *Elliot. No it's an express... Never mind. It was a very odd movie, and certainly disgusting in many ways. Well sexually and violently. Intense seems to be the buzzword people use in describing this film, and I'd have to agree! It didn't really let up the entire movie! It felt a lot longer than it actually was. But flip it was good. It was one of those movies that you keep thinking about afterwards, and things start to make more sense, and the whole story seems to fall into place and you start to think of it as much better than you remember it being during the experience! I like those. There Will Be Blood was another movie like that for me. At the time, confusing and inconclusive, but afterwards, breathtakingly brilliant! Actually, the last couple of scenes of Black Swan were that in the experience. The final dance scene was stunning. It's all I can think of. The music. The filming. The costumes. The climax of the plot. The acting. The dancing. The lighting. It was all magnificent. It was such a catharsis of awesome that I had to force myself not to tear up, because I certainly was not going to cry in a ballet movie! I've talked it up a lot, but don't go into this movie naively, it was incredibly graphic and INTENSE. Oh thanks for the heads up! No probs bruh. Check this out. It's the first part of her black swan dance. The second part's the best but not online, so this is a teaser.
I did actually cry later on. I was at a 21st. The situation was actually quite hilarious: I was sitting with my friends Antoni and Robmcstay, and we had a fake cry-off. I won. Twice. It was so hard because we kept cracking up: knowing that people would see three guys looking intensely at a spot with incredibly hard-broken expressions trying to cry at a 21st party was to us hilarious.
But seriously, that was a melancholic day. Seeing that movie made me realise just how corrupted a lot of people actually are in this world. And when I got home I lay on my bed reading the Herald online. Earthquake and tsunami in Japan. Christchurch victims named. 16 dead in a mine accident in China. Another 16 in China killed in a bus accident... I went to sleep at 6 in the late afternoon feeling rather glum, and woke at 8.30, somewhat confused for the party. This ain't a too cherry world when you look close enough, and sometimes it's screamingly obvious. I shouldn't forget that.
I had written a massive blog that I was pretty pumped about and thought was pretty deep for my standards, and I was going to post it but I'm pretty sure I'm going to speak about it when I do my sermon at the Sunday @ 5 in a couple of weeks (come listen!), so I don't want to put it up because when I speak it people who read it will be like, 'Oh cool... I read this in your blog...' and it'd be stink-buzz! So I'll probably post it or something similar after then :)
But don't worry! Heaps has been happening so I have more to write about!
First, here's a great video that Ben Morley posted on Facebook about a week ago and I've been absolutely obsessed since!
(Here's hoping that worked! It's my first post with a video!)
Yes! It's Puff the Magic Dragon! I think it's so beautiful. Such a joyful and sad tune. It's about the loss of innocence/childhood, not drugs, I think. The crowd is so cool too! Such an indie 60s crew! Or were they mainstream? They sing it so sincerely! Cute.
Hope you enjoyed that :) How about this? My mate Genny posted it and I have now acquired their CD wooh!
Mega cool! They are so into it! Imagine if we worshipped that way? Dayum that would be good.
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^Tacky page divider.
So I've been working full time at the caf the last week and a bit now and I'm really enjoying it! It's so good to be working and have a reason to rest, rather than resting because there's nothing else to do. Makes me appreciate my quiet time much more. Yesterday on my day off I just cruised. Jordan had stayed the night and we just chilled through the morning. It was great! I love it when the lights are out and there's that silence before you drift off to sleep, and then one of you has another question to ask and so conversation goes on for several more minutes. Conversations seem way deeper and more personal in those situations, it's mint. When he had left I ate a bowl of strawberry and vanilla ice cream and it was particularly good on that March afternoon... I've decided the first two weeks of March are my favourite, weather-wise. They are still nice and hot and summery with heaps of sun, but there's that cool new breeze that is so refreshing and live giving, the way it flows over your face, dry and parched from months of summer's heat and dry. But then it rains and the breeze becomes a cold wind and then it's not so nice and hot and I just want summer back... But yesterday lured me out of the house, it called me down the road to the beach, and it beckoned me lie on a grassy bank by the oily but gentle little Mairangi Bay stream; yesterday's joy was me getting grass in my hair and sun on my legs, and she played to me her beachy sounds (the wave's orchestra, as Andrew put it, the natter of cicadas and birds and dogs, and the occasional car vroom), and life flowed into me! I got so pumped up just sitting there quietly enjoying God's stunning creation...
I was so enthralled my it that I got up at 6 today to get ready for my 8am start, and spent the 7 o'clock hour down on that same bank, sitting in the chill stillness watching the sun rise, while the North Shore elite strolled their dogs or pumped their legs. It was brilliant. So often with my quiet time I try to achieve stuff, like if I have an hour in my room I'll sit at my desk and write my prayers and thanks for 30mins and then read the Bible for 30mins, so that I'm making the most of my short time... But I'm not! I miss out doing it that way. I don't hear from God as well as I could because I'm not listening, I'm busying. So this was awesome, because in that nature, in my quiet, His spirit moved me and encouraged me. Who else could I live for but He who created such a beautiful morning for me? And so my day went terrifically. Work was busy but I was up for it because I was growing the kingdom of heaven, not merely washing dishes and being rushed off my feet. Despite the stress of a busy cafe day, I had peace and joy! Can't wait for Presence tomorrow at 7 in Browns Bay. A group of us are praying and worshipping there, come join if you can! The stars are out tonight by the way, have a look :)
